Episode 20 — Walking in Two Worlds, Seeing One Clearly

What’s up everyone, thanks for tuning in. I’m Zi Yi.

Today is a special episode. This marks our 20th podcast, and for me, it feels like a turning point. We started with recordings in the car, moved to audio-only, and now we’re working with video. We’re only a few videos in, still recording from the basement, but the intention is clear. This podcast is a long-term development. For now, we continue as we are, getting the word out and opening the door to real-world cultivation.

Today’s topic is a heavy one, but an important one. We’re talking about the experience often described as “walking in two worlds.” This feeling comes up for many people who have had a moment of clarity, a glimpse of awakening, and suddenly feel out of place, as if they no longer fully belong to the world they once moved through without question.

At first, it can feel as though there are two realities. One is the familiar world, how you were before, how most people still are, and where their momentum seems to be heading. The other feels like a world where you can see the stream of events unfolding, where causes and conditions become visible instead of hidden.

But here’s the truth: there are not two worlds.

We use that phrase for convenience, but reality has always been one. What changes is not the world itself, but the framework through which that one reality is perceived. It can feel like two different happenings occurring at the same time, yet where they arise, where they unfold, and where they dissolve is the same place. This has nothing to do with ideas of “here” or “now,” only with how perception is structured.

This episode is a deep dive into that illusion, and into what “seeing clearly” actually means when a cultivator awakens. And it’s important to say this clearly: awakening, even when genuine, does not mean you’re finished. It doesn’t mean you suddenly know everything. Revealing true nature is not the end of the path, it’s the beginning.

The experience of awakening is not universal or standardized. It differs from person to person, shaped by the mind that realizes it. But there are some common markers.

Awakening is not like waking up from sleep in a dramatic way. It is more like a moment of complete stillness. For that moment, the senses stop moving. The eyes, ears, nose, tongue, body, and even the mind cease their usual activity. Remember, the mind is also a sense, the sense that thinks, perceives, and conceptualizes. In this moment, even that stops.

No thought arises. No naming occurs. There is no internal or external grasping. You cannot claim “nothingness” while it’s happening, because the moment you think about it, you are already out of it. Any claim at that point is just the thinking sense reasserting itself.

You can think of this as an extreme point reached through single-minded focus. Energy that was previously leaking outward through discrimination and engagement is gathered inward. There is no registering of events. The notion of self disappears. And then it’s gone.

This may last only a moment, or it may last longer. There is no sense of time because time is registered through the senses, and the senses are inactive. Consciousness is not dependent on the senses, but it isn’t separate from them either. Let’s call this an instance.

During that instance, clarity is unobstructed. You don’t know it while it’s happening. The energy that normally fuels identity and experience folds back into itself. When the instance passes and the senses resume activity, the sense of “you” reforms.

But something remains.

That period of non-discrimination leaves an imprint. The longer the instance, the deeper the imprint. This clarity influences the senses, neurologically and energetically. It begins to nourish the body and mind, like food for the seeds of awakening. You only truly understand what dual thinking is after you’ve experienced its absence. And once you know that, describing it feels awkward, which is why experiential realization always outweighs intellectual understanding.

As cultivation continues, that initial clarity begins to shine into daily life. Because time was spent not entertaining the senses, the senses begin to engage differently. This doesn’t remove discernment, but it reveals influence. You start seeing how things pull at attention, emotion, and reaction. A quiet stillness enters your interactions, allowing responses to align more naturally with an understanding of causes and conditions.

So how does this feel like walking in two worlds?

Before that moment of clarity, you moved through the world as you always had. After it, you move through the same world, but the framework through which the senses operate has shifted. With continued cultivation of single-minded focus, that clarity increasingly informs perception until non-dual awareness becomes the dominant current.

You still live your life. You still work, interact, and make decisions. But you can touch that clarity in what you do. Eventually, the goal is to act from it naturally, without effort. Cultivation and action must develop together.

At the same time, this is where many people get tripped up.

As clarity emerges, new interpretations and ideas about reality often follow. This is why self-introspection is essential. Early clarity easily turns into assumption. The thought “I see how things really are now” can quietly feed confusion if it isn’t examined.

Here’s the key insight: non-dual clarity is not the concepts formed around it. If you are still comparing how you feel now to how you felt before, more practice is needed. The dissolution of old worldviews doesn’t happen through thinking, it happens through consistent investigation of the mind. It unfolds gradually, punctuated by sudden realizations.

One “aha” moment is not enough. It’s barely the beginning. The iceberg is not awakening, it’s the mind itself.

This is a major perspective check.

Cultivation is always inner work: observe, check perspective, refine, and repeat.

So I’ll say it again: you are not walking in two worlds. That phrase only points to recognizing momentum, the unfolding of causes and conditions. And that recognition feels lighter simply because less attention is being fed into constant sensory stimulation.

This leads to another important perspective check.

As cultivation deepens, you may start to recognize how events are likely to unfold. This is not control, and it is not certainty. It’s awareness of conditions. But the moment the thought arises, “This is how it will go,” danger appears. Adding concepts to clarity turns it illusory again. Preferences, emotions, and personal history slip back in and shape perception.

If clarity is recognized as arising from non-discrimination and not acted upon prematurely, it stays clean.

The conflict is real. A cultivator may see conditions clearly and feel compelled to intervene for what seems like a greater good. But no matter how clear the seeing, it is the people involved who must act. If they haven’t recognized their own conditions, your insight won’t change much.

In relationships, this becomes even more delicate. Acting on insight before others arrive at their own understanding often creates confusion or resistance.

This is why when you know, you don’t know.

Knowing is for refinement, not display. Others must arrive at realization on their own. When insight is forced, integrity is lost and confusion grows.

So cultivators: say little. Act quietly. Adjust your own conditions. Move where movement is appropriate. Do not reveal what others are not ready to see.

This was one of the hardest lessons for me. I cultivated alone, without guides, and I ran into walls trying to understand why people didn’t change when I could see their causes clearly. I revealed things, acted on what I saw unfolding, and often made things worse.

Most people are unaware of the automatic programs running their minds. They act from habit, experience the results, wonder why, ask for advice, and then cannot hear it when it’s given.

I saw this most clearly in conflict. I would address issues at the level of causes, what I call mind ground. The other person would argue entirely from the level of the senses, reacting to outcomes. We weren’t speaking the same language.

Mind ground is where causes are planted. Call it subconscious if you want. Outcomes are where those causes blow through life like the wind. Most people focus on outcomes. Cultivators work with causes.

And this is the hard truth: realization cannot be given. Whether it’s insight into behavior or realization of true nature, it only happens when a person is ready. When they aren’t, no explanation will land.

This is why even the Buddha could not simply enlighten everyone. Each person must arrive through their own causes and conditions.